so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
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No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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