Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
