This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
worst night to have a conscience
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
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