I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my shit smells like andre
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
