As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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