Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
