But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
