I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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