apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
