mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
They took my balls.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
