she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
