ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
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WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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