She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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