either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
