Im at strip club and am horny
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
