There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
