You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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