I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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