Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
