On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
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lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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