Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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