Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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