he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
