I bet he comes in French.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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