is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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