chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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