just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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