I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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