Are we in a gay sports bar?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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