You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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