spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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