Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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