mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.