One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Wipe that smile off your face.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.