Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
