Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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