I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
