all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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