am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
