There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
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My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable