Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.