maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
