The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
