Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
