It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
