You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
