You just made me feel so damn special
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
