he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
