Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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