Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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