thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
