The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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