dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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