I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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