So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
