I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
how drunk are you?
Several
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
