Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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