I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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