Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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