you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize