i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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