I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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