GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize